Confessions of ...

Since I do not have eventful moments in my life to share with you... because quite frankly, my life just isnt all that interesting.. I thought I would share some random information about me with you

1) I have minimal patience when I am tired, hungry and/or cranky. Although I can compose myself and remain polite... I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR IDIOT SERVERS who think they're cute by being "funny"... or who think they are flirting with you by delaying the process of receiving your desired food product. Secretly I wish for you to crawl into a cave and be eaten by bears who have woken up from hibernation.

Scenario A:  At timmie's in the morning needing a quick pick me since I am exhausted out of my senses (which are generally required on the job) and in a rush to get on the unit on time for shift change
Me: Can I have a Medium Regular
Cash: Sorry we're out of coffee, it'll be a 15 min wait
M: Seriously?
C: Sorry, Can I offer you some tea?
M: Ok, I'll have a med green tea
C: Sorry out of that too
M: (wtfrig, u gotta be kidding me) Ummm OK, early grey then
C: All we have is peppermint
M: Seriously? then WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
C:  Just jokkkinnngg, you wanted a coffee right? 

Scenario B: At subway, getting my toppings on my sub. Famished, starved....I haven't had anything to eat since my bowl of cereal and just pulled a hectic 12 hr shift.
Me: I'll have everything except for pickles
Boy: Everything?
Me: except for the pickles
Boy: You want this? (points to EACH TOPPING, as I nod yes and go through each topping with a fake smile as he is trying to be funny)
Me: Can I have a lot of onions please?
Boy: Is this enough? (Essentially grabbing all the contents in the tin in his plastic covered hand)
Me:  No, not that much .. (With a weak laugh)
Boy:  This much? (Drops all the onions and grabs a pinch)
Me: Haha. no a little more (you stupid idiot, i hate you so much right now)

CUT THE CRAP AND JUST GIVE ME MY  FREAKINNN FOOD!

1b) I love food. Consumption of food is NEVER A JOKING MATTER.

2)I find it absolutely refreshing to have a good, I mean GOOD, ddong. In other words, laying a deuce, #2, passing stool, clearing your bowels... good old poo. Without exertion or use of the valsalva maneuver, the ease of perfect passage. ANNND its THAT much better when there is minimal scent associated with the act.... so that you don't have to worry about the next person who's going to go into the washroom after you. Complete satisfaction.

3) When I check out men in public, after the initial assessment of face and clothes.... my eyes IMMEDIATELY go to their shoes. Why? I don't know. I don't even have a shoe fetish like many girls do. Don't get me wrong, I love pretty shoes... but probably own about 5 that I actually wear. For some reason it is a complete turn off when I see men in track-running shoes as everyday wear shoes.... when the laces are so tightly criss-crossed that the tip of the shoe begins to curl up.... or when your shoes look like you they have been sitting in a bucket of mud and its obvious you are NOT a labour worker.....*shudder*  One of my weird superficial and shallow confessions.

4) I have a salt tooth. As many people have a sugar tooth and crave sweets and chocolate, I crave salty foods. I'll try to avoid the craving because they are usually associated with foods in the genre of JUNK... but once I have a craving, no food can fill the void and hence I binge and over eat on other foods that are not as satisfying... and end up consuming more fats and calories than the intial craving.  It is quite upsetting and pathetic.

5) I get pleasure from cleaning and organizing. When I am stressed or upset, my favourite past time is to clean, tidy and reorganize my room. It feels soooo good to see a clean room.... to open my drawers and closet and see my clothes neatly folded (in a specific pattern for different types of clothes and placed in a specific direction) and hung (all facing a the same direction - face to the right - and particular order). It irritates me when you mess the order up. People have tested it and have felt my wrath.

... just sayin'

Summer lovin'

Over the last couple of days, the weather has been extremely beautiful AND hot. On my lunch breaks, I've been going outside to enjoy the sun and heat... The rays of sun feel so good on your skin (and maybe it feels better because I'm hoping it'll help out my poor pale pasty white skin).... HOWEVER, the downfall of this wonderful weather...esp for those who know me.... that means sweat. S-W-E-A-T. For goodness sake, the crease btwn my biceps and forearms (by ur elbow) is sweating as I write this post!! (I'm outside on my bb btw). Sweat, my ultimate enemy.... Hence heat becomes my primary rival during the summer months... Sweat doesn't feel that "hot" when a girl leaves sexy pit stains on her shirts.... Nor does she seem professional when her scrubs are pit stained. So today during my lunch break, I remembered to bring a tank top to change into. FATASTICAL IDEA FRIENDS. Now I can bake and sweat in peace without judgment.

Anywho, just thought I'd use some of my well spent lunch break to update this blog that no one reads...

Have a good day friends!

just my luck

So I've been having a pretty crappy week regarding money.

Over the weekend, I made a payment of over $650 and then TODAY I took out another $320 in cash to make another payment (re: crappy week because I obviously don't have the means to pay for this). So at the bank I placed all the twenties in the envelop that they make available for clients by the bank machine and placed the envelop into my wallet. But because the envelops today have the pre-glued seal, I didn't seal it because I wanted to take the $20 out for myself for later... and because the envelop is wider than my wallet, I wasn't able to close my wallet. This afternoon, it was 20 degrees out. Gorgeous. So I decided to put my windows down as I drove. This afternoon, it was windy out. THIS AFTERNOON, A GUST OF WIND BLEW MY WALLET OPEN AND BLEW ALL MY MONEY OUT OF MY WINDOW!!!! THIS AFTERNOON, I LOST $120 OUT THE WINDOW!!!! (The saying "money out the window" and "I just blew $blank amount of money" has new meaning for me now). wwwwwwwwwwwttttttttttffffffffffffffffff! FML indeed! I wanted to do an illegal  U-turn but there was a police man infront of me so I made a proper turn around parked my car and ran after my money hoping some would still be around. I followed light garbage around hoping it would follow the direction of the wind and guide me to my lost 20 dollar bills... this failed me after 30 minutes. BUTTT!! I found up to $60... so technically I lost $60 this afternoon. There was a woman at the bus stop who saw the money fly out, the same woman watched me look for the money.... i bet you she sniped a couple of twenties. I feel super. 

eff you nature. effffffff you.

hello.

Lionel Richie - Hello
When I heard this duet on Glee a couple of weeks ago, I got absolute chills (open above link in new tab). I love it when songs and artists can do that... especially with classics such as Lionel Richie. When they start to harmonize, my heart just starts to melt and hold back the lip syncing. It's definitely on the ipod and as I do with any of the current songs I'm feeling, I over play them until they die lol.

Listening to music is definitely one of my means of escaping the world and my greatest means of catharsis. Whenever I am going through something in my life that pushes me to reflect and think things over, I try to find a song that matches how I'm feeling... I like to call them my "theme songs" (Ya I know, LOSER). But life is so much easier when you find the perfect song that just sings your feelings for you. Its like venting & unwinding on repeat... its so refreshing... cathartic. Its the best when you're just listening to you ipod to relax and take your mind off things and then BAM, the lyrics to the song you're listening to is everything you've been thinking. Awesome.

The lyrics to this song are so sad, I hope it never becomes one of my theme songs. That would suck. 

I've been alone with you inside my mind and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times. I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello, is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile. You're all I've ever wanted and my arms are open wide. 'Cause you know just what to say and you know just what to do and I want to tell you so much, I love you ...  I long to see the sunlight in your hair and tell you time and time again how much I care. Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow. Hello, I've just got to let you know,  'Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?  Tell me how to win your heart for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying, I love you ... Hello, is it me you're looking for? 'Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart. For I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying ... I love you.

Dear Love, 
I am not ready for you and I refuse to be a fool for you... So stay away, but come back some other time... But don't take too long becase I wanna get hitched by the time I'm 30. Thanks.

Warmest Regards,
Jenni, former hopeless romantic transitioning cynic.

hmmm...

Ever find it interesting how different people bring out your different qualities?  How certain friends bring out the immature, fun-loving child in you, others bring out the more "chill" laid back and relaxed version of you or even sometimes, some people bring out the mature and responsible version of you?  So at first I thought: "Am I being fake if I can be such a different person around different people - if my personality isn't necessarily consistent throughout?" But after thinking about it a little more, It's more about how  different people emphasize different aspects about you and it seems like they just enhance/ activate that quality about you when you're around them. Sometimes for better or for worse (because its not always the best qualities about you that may be emphasized). Sometimes its because you need to maintain some sort of balance within the relationship (one should be the responsible one if the other is going to be a mess). Sometimes the other person's personality and behaviour just makes it too difficult for you to abstain from doing the exact same thing (I'm not talking about peer pressure, but you get what I'm saying right?) ..But sometimes some people just bring out the worst in you. The uptight, irritable, frustrated and angry bitch/jerk you never want to be, but you just can't help it when you're around this person. Maybe you shouldn't be hanging out with this person in the first place.... but then you have to wonder, why does this person bring out the worst in you?

Anyway, that was my useless ponderment (YEA, I said ponderment, don't pretend like you don't know what it means even if I DID make up the word just now) ... but you know me, just sayin'

night time isn't always for sleeping.

I have survived my first night shift. 7pm-7am. I am not going to lie, it was definitely NOT easy, but not as bad as I had imagined. It doesn't help that all the patient rooms are dark [to help the babies relax and fall asleep]... but when you work over night in a dark room, holding a tiny baby that barely fits in your arms in a rocking chair, swinging back and forth... you're just begging to fall asleep; It's not what I'd like to call an adrenaline rush.... but there's something about night shifts on the NICU that I just love. I haven't figured it out yet but everything on the unit just fascinates me. I am so glad that this has been everything I wanted and more, and I know it will only continue to exceedingly surpass my expectations.

At night, everything is [generally] quiet - you get accustomed to all the monitors & IV pumps going off;  the alarms and beeping almost become rhythmic background noise - its like a little secret dream land tucked away for tiny sick babies who need to sleep and just need to get better. 

Neonatal nursing is definitely where I am supposed to be. 

Because I am in love.

 Maybe I'm still in the honeymoon stage because I'm still a "noob"...  Regardless,

L.O.V.E, love.

 

It's weird because I Can't remember that last time I felt so passionate about something... It honestly feels SO GOOD to know that you have found yourself in a place doing something you LOVE; something that challenges, inspires and drives you... It's as if going to school for the past 15 years of my life and over 30Gs of student debt was worth it because  I'm finally here. (I just need to find a hospital to hire me)

Can't wait to see the rest of you guys here with me, because it feels  AMAZING. 

the march curse is officially broken.

Since March of 1999, I have suffered from what I would like to call my "March Curse."  It was usually associated with silly, mindless things like 'boy relations' or 'birthday blues' but regardless of whatever it was, or however stupid it was, it was a big deal for me then and something would always make feel extremely upset, disappointed, frustrated or make me cry.

Last year, 2009 was the first curse-less March, but I had to wait another year, just to make sure.... and this year's March couldn't have been better. Minus the stress of a 50% paper that was worth one full credit equivalent, 2010's March has been great! Good times, good laughs, great friends and most surprisingly, 2010 March made the list for "best birthdays" (this is surprising because I am usually a horrific birthday girl cynic). On top of this all, the last couple weeks have been jam packed with excitement and anticipation to finally finish school and start my practicum at Sick kids.  

I'm actually really happy right now with a lot of things in my life and I can't remember the last time I felt like this. It actually weirds me out re: how satisfied I am with life. [Don't get me wrong, I am still motivated to achieve my goals and refuse to be content with status quo]. It just feels so good to be without so much worry, concern and stress (especially compared to me at this time last year). It feels so good to be more relaxed, less uptight about things and to be without feelings of restlessness and anxiety when I'm not in control of things. Mind you, I am still meticulous in my ways and have OCD like tendencies when it comes to organization, but the more "laid back, go with the flow, let's see what happens" Jenni is a happier Jenni. Let's keep her around.