Reality bites.

... not only does it bite, it bites [hard] AND leaves a mark.

Frig.

So when reality bites, don't be a fool.... bite back.

Over the last couple of months, I've been getting to know myself a bit better...I've been learning about my  own boundaries and limits. Feeling out what I like, what I don't like. What I want, what I don't want. What I need, what I don't need. Things that make me uncomfortable, things that I am willing to try regardless of feeling uncomfortable. What I tend to do, what I would never do. Things I can tolerate and things I need to be more assertive about ...Its definitely been an interesting journey of self discovery.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a certain type of person. Predictable. But recently, I've come across a new box of crayons with a wide range of vibrant colours, colours I've never used before. Its not about the basic 8-pack anymore, but about busting out the 64-colour pack with the built in sharpener (who knew crayola would be so efficient). Who needs the standard blue, rose, violet and yellow when you can be using Magic mint, Jazzberry jam and Laser lemon. I cant help but explore and see what all the different colours look like and even dare say... to  colour outside the lines.

But as I'm colouring,  I come to realize, the template I thought I needed to follow isn't even there.... but I have a blank page of endless possibilities.  Colour away I say, Colour away ! Lets try out these bad boys and draw me an awesome picture. 

On a side note:

who remembers that movie?  The days before winona became a kleptomaniac?

my rock.

The wise man built his house upon a rock,
the rains came down & the floods came up
but the house upon the rock stood fast.

waiting for eventually

I missed a beat or something.
                          I've lost the rhythm,
             I'm all out of sync.
                               When did I lose count?

                   Where did the tempo go?

                                 I can't even hear the tune anymore.
          I'm waiting for it to finish,
but it just keeps on skipping...
               I hope it's not stuck on repeat. 

Mr. dj, can you spin the next track for me?

What's that I'm Tasting?

I have encountered funny tasting fruit. I always ask my mother to pack a fruit in my lunch (yes, my mom still packs my lunch for school- don't judge, be jealous). At lunch time, when I take a bite into my health snack, I cant help but kringe after every bite....my apple has a funky after taste? Has it gone bad?

Because I hate wasting food, I keep chomping away wondering what this mystery flavour is, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.  By the end of the day I forget about this initial inquiry until I am faced with it again the next day at lunch time.... As such, this has been going on for a while now and I have no sherlock in me to figure it out.... until one day on my search for fruit in the kitchen, I found apples.......in the kimchi fridge.

That funky after taste? Garlic. That mystery flavour? Fermented cabbage. Awesome. Mystery solved.

Dear umma, please stop putting the fruit in the kimchi fridge because all my applies taste like kimchi.

How jenni needs her groove back.

I've lost my nerd. I have misplaced the keener in me and am in dire need to "get my groove back." Unfortunately, I wont be able to take any pointers from Stella (except for the fact that a trip to Jamaica would be fantastic right about now) because I doubt a romantic love affair with a person half my age would do me any good (especially at my age, I'm pretty sure that's just WRONG and ILLEGAL- although I wouldn't mind getting a little mixed up with Taye Diggs)... nor would added distraction contribute to a healthy academia.

So instead, I procrastinate and stress about how stupid I am for procrastinating and then I allow the guilt to creep up because I know I should be trying harder because I know I can....I'm smarter than that, I think.  BUT! I let the exhausted, burnt out, lazy student in me take over because I am lacking academic stimulation, the root of my motivation, hard work and learning. Apparently my brain went on strike and the nerd and keener are picketing for better learning conditions... interest, passion,motivation, time management, less caffeine and more sleep!

This is going to be a long 3 months :(

s.o.s

I am shipwrecked, and have been washed ashore.

The island is deserted, the island is quiet.
I am alone, left to my own devices.
I am allowed to be selfish, I am allowed to be ignorant.

The island is pleasant, the island is refreshing.
I am comfortable, left to my own narcissism.
I am not judged, I am not guilty.

The island is blinding, the island is dark.
I am careless, left to my own direction.
I am distracted, I am lost.

The island is lonely, the island is empty.
I am exhausted, left to my own defeat.
I am despareate, I am reaching.

I am shipwrecked, and now seek resue.

...Changing who I've been to who I need to be

right?!

and!!
Both John Smith & Jake Sully
were good looking fellows!  
AGREED.